Why isn't The Greatest American Hero a movie yet?

This weekend Syfy ran a marathon of The Greatest American Hero. I know I'm not the only person who flipped out, because that show was the shit in its day. I fucking loved this show as a kid. I mean, the theme song alone is worth the price of admission. My buddy and I almost wrecked his car once because we were speeding down a winding gravel road to get back to the cabin in time to see an old syndicated episode that was supposed to air that night.

In this time when studios are making movies out of board games and '80s TV shows, it upsets me that this deserving project gets no love, at least as far as I can tell. I haven't heard a peep about this in development.

So if I were an executive at a major studio I would make this my mission. And here's how I'd do it.

Nathan Fillion has said he would jump at the chance to play the lead, Ralph Hinkley, and of course he's perfect. He's terrific at playing a comedic character in straight fashion, which is just what this role would require.

Robert Culp's character, Bill Maxwell, is easy. Ever notice how much he looks and acts like Bruce Campbell? I mean it's eerie. So there you go. Nathan Fillion and Bruce Campbell.

For Connie Seleca's character, Pam Davidson, I think we need some ethnic diversity. This is the Greatest AMERICAN Hero, after all, and America ain't just about whitey. So I'd cast the hottest up-and-coming actress right now, Zoe Saldana. The character isn't a comedy role but she is smart and charming, so Saldana would fit it well.

I'd have Justin Timberlake remake the theme song to roll over the end credits.

Obviously you'd have to add some edge to this story because typical '80s camp wouldn't fly in 2010, but you could have tons of fun playing with this. You could really play with the idea how power doesn't have to change who you are at heart.

I would probably cut off my little toe for the opportunity to write this.

You hear me, Studio People? You get on this now please. Shoot me an email and we'll get this party started.